Entry 2 - A Marriage Made in Mumbai

A Marriage Made in Mumbai; Experiences of an Indian Wedding

I have to begin by describing the Indian music video and movie industry; some of you will have a little familiarity with the films and videos that are made here, and others not.  So let me first introduce you to Bollywood: Bollywood is not a place, but an industry centred in Mumbai (formerly Bombay, hence B for Bombay and ollywood as an allusion to Hollywood).  Bollywood conjures images of Hindi language musical movies, videos, with over the top sets and costumes, somewhat cheesy acting, styles, campy scripts, and a whole lot of movement, action, fun and people.

Well, on Saturday our group was invited to attend an Indian wedding reception, although once we arrived we felt more like we had walked into the filming of a Bollywood musical.  It was great fun, loud, hot (very hot), entertaining, and perhaps more than a little over the top in sets and costumes, music and events.  But that is my restrained Canadian voice speaking.

Weddings in India are becoming, in the words of one guest there, much more westernized – he wasn’t sure he liked the loss of some of the traditional Indian rituals and values, but, as he said shrugging his shoulders, “that’s globalization”.  Yes, indeed, right down at the grass roots level of ordinary people, and away from the world of high finance and business where we usually expect to find the effects of globalization.  I can only hope that some of the particular Indian traditions remain intact for the wedding ceremony itself, which was to take place on the morning after the reception with only the groom’s and bride’s immediate families and some close friends.

But the night before, everyone was there, including ten Canadians who know someone who is a friend of the father of the groom.  Or something like that.

We arrived in early evening to watch the reception unfold, and were given seats in the front row.  The wedding hall was like a big theatre, with an open floor on which plastic garden chairs had been placed in neat rows, enough to seat several hundred people.  The stage was lit up and decorated with flowers, flower arrangements, flowers in planters, and at the centre, a white vinyl bench designed to look like a swan.  For the bride and groom, of course, when they made their appearance later.  A band played at one side, and various singers took turns belting out the latest in Indian popular music – I don’t know if they were singing in Hindi (likely), or the local language, Kannada.  Two tv-size cameras were carried around the crowd to capture people, their reactions and their greetings, and a giant boom camera swept over the heads of the crowd, occasionally zooming in on someone interesting (like the one white male in the whole room – that would be me).  All was broadcast onto enormous flat screens posted around the room.

Eventually the bride and groom appeared at the back door, and walked slowly down the length of the long aisle to contemporary Hindi techno-music, with close ups from the boom camera at all angles being flashed to the big screens.  And then to the front, and up on to the stage.  Here, they garlanded each other with flowers, and then the crowd surged to the front.  With many men on the stage on either side, some semblance of order was found; people went up the stairs at one side and family by family they crossed to the centre, greeted the bride and groom, perhaps gave gifts, or flowers, and then posed for a picture.  All with music going.  Once each family was photographed, they were whisked off stage and the next group would surge forward, people pressing against one another seemingly in a vain hope that somehow it might go faster, or they would be next.  Eventually the Mount Allison turn came, and we went out with the VIIS Director (our contact), and I presented flowers on behalf the group, and we offered congratulations, and suddenly I was also garlanded with flowers (I am really not sure by who, as by this time there were so many people on stage, including the families of the bride and groom, and also the “crowd wranglers”). And then chairs appeared, and were arranged in front of the bride and groom, and grandparents were seated, and I found myself pressed into a chair, and the students arranged around both seated and standing, and then we were photographed, over and over, by pretty much everyone in the wedding hall.  And the music played on.

At last, we were ushered (a polite way of suggesting that somehow the crowd just surged us off the stage), and we headed downstairs for the food.  Wow – what an array.  We were given large plastic dinner plates (about fifteen inches across) and made our way from booth to booth in the large hall downstairs to be given rice and curries and vegetable dishes and so much more.  I don’t know what I ate, but I do know it was mostly tasty and very spicy. 

I think the nicest part of the evening for me was when I moved off to one side of the hall in search of some cool air, and went to stand underneath a ceiling fan.  There were a few seats available in that spot, and instantly one kind man volunteered his seat for me.  I sat with several men and talked with them, one in particular, for about half an hour.  It was lovely; just ordinary people out for the evening, and talking with them about ordinary things, and yet sensing their welcome and interest.  One man asked me asked me how I was finding India after only one week, and honestly and without hesitation I replied, “the weather is hot, the food is hot, but the people are warm.”  It is so reaffirming of humanity that across cultural, racial, religious, political, and linguistic divides, deep down, people are warm and welcoming, concerned about the same things (making a living, keeping their children safe, holding on to important values, caring for the community), and welcoming of others.

Almost too soon it was time to go, and we were each given the gift of a coconut on the way out to that cool, fresh air.  The receiving and photographing of guests may still have been taking place; the music was still playing.  Guests were coming and going.  I met so many people (being the only white male, well-dressed in my dark suit and tie, and wearing my floral garland, I was easy to spot); but all of them were genuinely warm and welcoming.  I only hope that in our weddings and other events in Canada, we can all be as welcoming of strangers.